I’ve been a practitioner of yoga for over 15 years. Yoga is about balance, breath, presence, depth, stretching, and opening. For some it’s a physical workout. For others it’s a spiritual meditation. For still others, it’s a way of life.
Yoga and sex aren’t so different. Sex can certainly be about balance, breath, presence, depth, stretching, and opening. It’s a physical workout, it’s certainly a meditation and many create a way of life out of their sex life. The more you breathe, the better your orgasms. The more you are present, the more satisfying your sex. But many people spend their lives running from feeling that connected.
Yoga brings us into present awareness of what is happening in our bodies by bringing our focused attention to our breath and muscles. It helps us clear our minds so that we can come into full self-awareness. So much of what gets in the way for people when it comes to their sexual lives, is that they fail to be fully self-aware and present to the moment. Your thoughts wander. You get insecure and worry about how your body looks or how well you are “doing sex.” You are definitely not in the moment, present to what is actually happening or to the pleasure you could experience if you are going to these places mentally.
Sometimes the best place to be for sex is with a totally clear mind, absolutely present to yourself, your partner (if you are with one), and to the sensations you are experiencing. This is very hard for many people to do—people will avoid this kind of presence for many different reasons. I would highly suggest incorporating a yoga practice into your life if that’s true for you. It helps—practice always makes perfect. It’s so freeing to have moments of your day—an hour or two of yoga class to clear your mind and allow it to empty, freeing your mind of all that plagues it.
What about the yoga of dating? I’m always amazed when I’m out and see people who are clearly on a date, both texting, futzing with their phones or taking calls. Is it possible to be less present to who is in front of you?
Many people check their phones before they are even out of bed in the morning, starting their day by getting their head busy with thoughts of things to do, things people are asking of them and outward communication, rather than taking time to have a little quiet in their minds before the onslaught of emails, texts, and things-to-do commences. I am sometimes guilty of this myself. How about the yoga of starting your day?
The yoga of sex also includes the balance of giving and receiving and an openness to spirit, inspiration, love, joy, pleasure and ecstasy. According to wikipedia, the literal meaning of the Sanskrit word yoga is “to add”, “to join”, “to unite”, or “to attach”. I have also heard that it means “to yoke”. So how could sex not be an opportunity for yoga?
Some will say that yoga is about freeing oneself from the physical realm. I think we need to honor the physical more than try to escape it. Too many people have a hard time living in this world because they want out of it. They thrive on being “spiritual” and to them, spiritual is somehow is better than physical. Yet, it’s the connection of the spiritual and the physical that completes the human experience. I think we are wise to appreciate our ability to feel physically, to experience our senses and to deepen our love of our physical being. We were given physical bodies so we could have the ecstasy of being in them. Why avoid that magic?
One of my ex-lovers and I used to call sex “yoga.” “Want to do some yoga?” one of us might invite. Any bystander would think we really meant we were doing yoga…certainly the mere crazy positions you can end up in during sex is yoga enough—plus all that connection, joining, uniting, breathing, presence and transcendence. Pretty yogic, really. I enjoy the shared language about sex that is often created between lovers. This one acted as a great reminder for how we might approach sex.
To embody your sensual nature, to deepen your presence to your body and breath, your experience of ecstasy…that’s yoga as much as anything else. We are uniting the physical and the spiritual every single day by bringing into manifestation our spiritual dreams and visions. We are all physical and spiritual all the time. It’s beautiful in its wholeness.
Free call! Yoga & Sex — everything you wanted to know
How do sex and yoga fit together, you ask?
I’m so excited to tell you about my friend Edward Vilga, an amazing yoga instructor and author who has just released his newest book, DOWNWARD DOG — a steamy tale about the bad boy of the yoga world.
I’m so excited about this book, not only because Edward is such a talented writer and storyteller (not to mention he has a killer erotic imagination), but also because I know so many of my clients practice yoga, meditation and spiritual self-development through physicality and we’re going to bring all of this together with a call. I totally support his work as an author and I want to spread the word about this sexy book… that’s why I hosted him for a live call (with sexy Q&A) to talk about our two favorite topics, yoga and sex!
We had a really hot call — hotter than Bikram, in fact, incorporating the following:
- the all-time sexiest yoga poses (experts’ choice)
- the tantalizing appeal of the Bad Boy
- the role of the Teacher, boundaries, and classroom dynamics
- linking sexual practice and meditation
- the down-low on the sexy yoga world
If you missed it, you can get access to a recording of the call for free. It’s a GREAT call — we cover a lot of fun, sexy topics and host some live Q&A at the end — and it’ll inspire you to bring your yoga and sexual practices to a new level, I hope!