There are about five super common ways women hold themselves back from pleasure and orgasm—I would say so common, that if they were considered a public health issue (which is debatable) they would be called an epidemic. Let’s talk about the most common reasons why women hold back, and do not experience the orgasms and pleasure they truly want.

Orgasm Issue # 1: I don’t know how to fully receive

It is mind boggling how many people cannot fully receive sexually. As a sexual empowerment coach, I encounter countless women who have difficulty in receiving and it can look many ways. At the root of not being able to receive is the way women are socialized to care for everyone else, give to others constantly, and then we wonder why we are not able to receive. We’ve been conditioned not to.

Many people do not think they deserve pleasure or good things, so they are not able to receive pleasure. You have to take it! It’s being given to you! Take it, and enjoy it. If someone was trying to give you an amazing gift that you want and you to keep your hand closed and refuse to take it, that would be offensive. You are closing yourself to life itself when life offers itself up to you. It can’t be given without being received. They go hand in hand.

There are many reasons why we have a hard time receiving. But, you must learn to receive. You must let yourself and teach yourself to just say “yes please” and “thank you.”

No explanations. No “buts”. No “only ifs”. No, “I can’ts”.

Stop it.

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Take in the love the universe is trying to give to you or it will start to think you don’t want it.

You will turn around one day wondering why true pleasure and fulfillment has eluded you for so long when it might have been knocking on a door that never got answered.

Orgasm Issue #2: I can’t take up too much space (or be selfish)

Many women prevent themselves from having pleasure and experiencing orgasms because they think they should not take up too much space, they think they are taking too long and they judge themselves for it. Who says there is a time limit? Who made up these rules that sex should be quick and dirty and done? That’s not fun; it’s contrived. Sex takes as long as it takes, unless you are on a time constraint, then you bend it to fit inside the time you have. But I hear women saying things like “I’m afraid to take too long” and it’s sad. Women sometimes take longer to have orgasms. The build takes longer, it’s a slow burn…let yourself take up space. Let yourself have what you need. Fill your plate.

Many women are so afraid of being seen as greedy or selfish that they hold themselves back. READ MORE >>

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