There are two things we don’t teach young people about, and that we do a poor job of teaching adults about. They are the two things we need most–and also the two things for which education and the right tools would be a total game changer.
Ever wonder why we get zero financial education except maybe an economics class—but nothing that teaches us how to really excel with money and have a healthy relationship to it? Or why we get so little, if any, sex education, and if we do, the messages are often so limited, antiquated or irrelevant that the education doesn’t impact our lives in meaningful ways?
We absolutely need money to live and thrive. The impact on people’s lives that financial and abundance education and tools can have is unlike nearly anything else. Teaching a person how to get out of their own way around money, how to see their blind spots, how to overcome the lack mindset they learned in their families or communities and how to actually make money is a total life changer. Nothing will uplevel a person’s life more than those tools, if they hold them right.
Likewise, sex is a fundamental part of people’s lives and happiness. Relationships are one of the most important parts of our everyday lives and if we do not know how to be in them, and how to have empowered, satisfying, gratifying, mutually desired sexual experiences, we will feel the famine of human love, joy and pleasure. Sexuality is a core part of who we all are, whether or not we choose to be sexual with other people. Having access to relevant adult sex education changes people’s entire outlook on life and their experience of freedom and wholeness.
Nothing transforms people’s lives more than breaking through around sex and money. Sex and money are the most meaningful ways we exchange energy. They help us to improve our lives, break down our walls, open to more abundance, enjoy living and loving, and do the things that make us happy. Sex and money are the bedrock of self-actualization, for without either, we stay in feelings of lack, wanting more, feeling incomplete, and often, angry, frustrated and bitter.
I know for myself, my divorce was the best thing that could have happened to me because it forced me to figure out how to bring more money and abundance into my life. After spending my whole adult life making just enough to get by (and sometimes not even that much), and being in a relationship with a partner who made much more than I did and had supported me in living how I wanted to live in many ways, I was suddenly on my own and I had to figure it out for myself.
I thought, “I’m smart, and this isn’t rocket science. I can figure out this equation around money.” I knew there was something I was missing, something I didn’t know or was ignorant about and that I needed to find teachers who could show me. So I did.
And I totally transformed my relationship to money, my life, and my business. I completely changed what I believed was possible. I started making more than I’d ever made and created a business model that worked. Most of all, I got out of my own way and changed the way I was thinking about money—that is the most challenging part of the work, and the most crucial.
I’ve transformed my sexual life more times than I can count. I’ve been lucky to have incredible sexuality education my whole adult life, and that has allowed me to have expansive sex and relationships, a powerful connection to my own body and pleasure, and to be fully sexually expressed. It has opened the door for me to create unusual, out-of-the-box, polyamorous relationships, to explore kink and BDSM and to live and play in the sexual complexity that is authentically who I am.
If you are not happy with your sexual or financial life, or you want more in either, ask yourself if you have put enough energy into changing your patterns and relationship to these two pillars of joy. Ask yourself how much time, energy, and money you have invested in your financial education, and in your sex education.
Whatever you give energy to grows. I see this principle at work all the time when women come to my workshops. As soon as they sign up, things begin to move. They get a job offer or new clients. The lover they’ve dreamed of shows up. Opportunities appear. It puts a smile on my face every time, because I know when things move like that, it is the energy of life ricocheting back to them the more they are seeking because they took a risk, made an investment and stood in a powerful decision.
And that is the recipe for quantum growth. Huge leaps happen when you take big steps, when you’ve got skin in the game. Whatever you think is missing—put some skin in the game so you can begin to change it now. Today. Not tomorrow. Not next year. Make time for the things you want most right now. Because they are here for you. Whether that means seeing a financial advisor, going to a sex coach or workshop, buying a new book, taking a class, doing some journaling, putting together a study group or getting some mentorship in some other way, take a step. Start asking for what you really want—it’s the only way you actually get it. What would new energy, tools, education and experiences around both sex and money mean for you? There is only one way to find out.