Guest Post by Dr. Kate Siner, PhD
If we want to be successful in all parts of our life, we need to have a connection to all of our energy. One of the ways that we can stay connected with our self and our energy is through sex. Specifically, sex can allow us to connect to and express the deepest most truthful part of us. Sex is not the only tool, however. Personal development tools like Core Energetics help us peer inside, understand what is happening, and liberate the energy that is connected to our true self.
In the Core Energetics schema, the person is broken down into three parts. One is the part we present to the world. This is called the mask, persona, or ego. One is the part that we try to conceal from the world. This is the lower self. The third part is the core self also called the higher self or “true self.” The reason I like this schema is because it offers a simple, yet consistent, structure with which we can view ourselves and our behavior.
When we are in the mask part of the self, it is almost like living one track of a multiple-track recording. In the mask, we think we need to be a certain way in order to be loved, accepted, and safe. We can get kind of caught up in this and even start to think that this is all there is of us. When we get caught in this outer, more superficial, part, we lose our perspective. We become consumed by that mask self. We might start behaving as if we want to convince ourselves as badly as we want to convince others that what we are presenting is the truth of who we are.
Sometimes, because of situations or social structures, we forget there is something more than this mask self. This can lead to feelings of emptiness, discontent, or falseness. Most of us have felt this at one point or another whether we are trying to connect more with our sexuality or whether we are trying to move a project forward in the world -somehow we can wind up feeling like things are somehow a little -or a lot- off.
The reason we develop our masks is to cover our lower self. It is not that the lower self is a bad part of us it is really the part of ourselves that is motivated by the classic fight or flight reflex. It is our survival mechanism. There is nothing bad about having a survival mechanism. We need it. However, the more we evolve, the more we see the limitations of this survival mechanism. It limits our ability to fully be ourselves, to grow, to get some of the best parts out of life. So, we acknowledge it and thank it for its role, but we do not let it rule the show.
The story of the development of our lower self goes like this: When we were young we likely encountered a number of situations where our natural reaction was to use our fight or flight instinct (the lower self). This was not accepted or might have even been forbidden by the people around us so we learned to act in a more socially acceptable way (the mask). In order to be closer to the truth about us, we need to reverse this process.
When working with the lower self, it is most important that we work to transform the fight-or-flight emotions. You can think of this like sludge at the bottom of a jar. One of the ways to get it out is to shake the jar so the sludge gets mixed up in the water. This way it is easier to dump out the contents and have a clean jar. There are a whole bunch of ways to shake up the jar and sex is one of them!
After a while of observing this mask and lower self, we get more in contact with our core self our higher self, the truest part of who we are. I often equate this with words such as “love” and “truth”. This is the more expanded part of our selves. When we live from this place, we have the deepest sense of fulfillment. It is from this place that we are able to step into our authentic sexuality, our creative selves, and our transformational work in the world.
Want to learn more how to live from your authentic self and deepen your overall fulfillment? You can pre-order my book: Life Fulfillment Formula: 120 Ways to Activate Your Potential, by clicking here.