New York State passed a law making marriage between two people of the same sex legal on Friday, June 24, just in time for New York’s biggest gay celebration of the year, and one of the biggest Pride events in the world. This has been a long road and finally we had a governor who took a strong stand for equality in New York and hopefully other states will take our lead and end their institutionalized apartheid. What does this really mean? Is it all that important? Why do the gay folks even want to be a part of an “institution” that the heterosexuals can’t seem to manage worth a darn?
People act like these sex scandals are so surprising, as if by some magical transformation, just by nature of becoming a politician, people cease to be human or to live in our culture. We live in a sex-negative culture that promotes tremendously unrealistic standards for sexual desire, attraction and expression. Our culture also loves to sexually shame people and we use sexual shame as a means for gaining cultural currency. Politicians, who have many “enemies” will be obvious targets for public shamings.
We can create rapture all the time if we want. We just need to connect to that awesome sexual energy and decide how we want to use it. It’s the same energy we use to make art, to write, to have babies, to have sex, to love, to connect to our own divinity, to create community, to cook a delicious meal. We can connect to our sexual energy in myriad ways that make our lives feel like heaven every day.
I don’t think conservative religious zealots want people to have independent doses of unregulated fun. Attacking our reproductive rights is the easiest way to attack our sexual freedom and commitment to pleasure. It promotes a sex-negative ideology that refuses to see sexuality as a healthy, normal, and natural part of one’s life. It pushes the idea that we should be punished for having fun by being forced to have unwanted children. And of course, the children are punished more than anyone. This ideology seeks to control our self-expression and pursuit of happiness. I’m fed up with it.