I listened to the show Dan Savage did a couple weeks ago where he addressed a 38-year-old virgin, desire, and romantic matches, and I want to take it from another angle.
I want to share my observations on the 5 most common fears that I have seen stop people in their tracks when it comes to desire!
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The truth is that it’s very hard, if not impossible, to create the relationship of your dreams from a place of insecurity.
It’s so common for people who are confident in the world to clam up or get sheepish about sex…
When I ask people what they most want for their sexual lives, they often say they really want more confidence.
Avoidance will generally mean that you will not get your needs met or feel seen and heard in a relationship, because it ultimately will require others to read your mind or figure out what is going on without you telling them.
Self-actualizers feel themselves safe and cared for, not anxious, accepted, loved, loving, and alive--certainly living a fulfilling life.
Historically speaking, love and belonging are relatively new motivations for sex.
There are days when I feel angry by how pervasive sexual abuse is in this world. It is a symptom of a very big problem and the sheer prevalence of it shows just how far we have to go in healing our planet.