What if Sex Were Like Playing Music?

In Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, Thomas Macaulay Millar– wrote an astute essay about our typical commodification model of sex and how problematic it is in terms of consent and negotiation to treat sex as transactional. When there is an approach of sex as a transaction, it inevitably leads to [...]

By |February 23rd, 2018|Relationships, Sexual Growth|0 Comments

Be the Lover, Not the Hero

As the groundbreaking superhero film Black Panther is freshly released, this week the concept of being the hero and how much we are socialized towards a heroism model of leadership and healing has come up several times. I was the oldest child in my family and very much took on that hero role in my family constellation—being the [...]

By |February 16th, 2018|Sexual Growth|1 Comment

Solstice Blessings & Your Best Sexual Year Yet

Happy Solstice! Hope your darkest, longest night of the year had you warm, happy and reflective. In true let-the-year-go form, I am sick as a new surfboard on perfect waves. Wish I felt that euphoric. Protect yourself from those germy shopping carts and door handles so you escape the nasty bugs running rampant this season! [...]

By |December 22nd, 2017|Sexual Growth, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Desire is the Excitement of Possibility

I constantly observe people I work with struggle about saying “yes” to what they want in their own lives, and how often people work against their own desires.  When life presents you with the next step, the next stage or thing, you can’t fight it, or you end up fighting against your own life. Your [...]

By |September 2nd, 2016|Pleasure & Desire, Sexual Growth|0 Comments

What Gets in the Way of Sexual Confidence?

I’ve spent years studying how confidence works and I’ve found it’s the thing everyone wants the most and yet people don’t know how to develop it and often don’t recognize their own unique confidence style.   Here’s the thing about confidence: it is not one size fits all.   After studying confidence for years and how it [...]

By |August 5th, 2016|Pleasure & Desire, Relationships, Sexual Growth|0 Comments

The Greatest Sexual Lie Ever Told

I am continually amazed at the negativity people carry about their sexuality and at how much they will disconnect and defect from this part of themselves, as if it is outside of us. Your sexuality is the core of who you are. It is the place where you came from, when there was a conception, [...]

The Confusion of Desire

What does it mean to desire, to “own your wanting”? What gets in the way of owning it, of saying “yes, this is what I want and I won’t feel bad about my wanting”?  We tend to want based on the wants of those with whom we’ve grown up, of the desires we’ve seen modeled. If we [...]

The Plight of the Sexually Inexperienced Adult

There is a common sexual experience that few people talk about and yet is more pervasive than most people realize. Many adults are sexually inexperienced and this causes a slew of issues as they get further into adulthood, deeper into relationships and well past the age when they “think” they should know. How Do We [...]

By |April 22nd, 2016|Getting Unstuck, Sexual Growth|0 Comments

The Undeniable Connection Between Fear & Sexuality

Most of us learn about sexuality in the context of fear and were taught to be afraid of sexuality on some level: you might get hurt. You might get an STI. You might get pregnant. He might treat you badly. She might trap you. You might get raped. Most of American sex education focuses on [...]

By |April 1st, 2016|Relationships, Sexual Growth|Comments Off on The Undeniable Connection Between Fear & Sexuality