“Is it Possible to Drop Our Identities And Just Be Human?”

I was listening to the Dalai Lama talk this morning in San Diego about how much happier and less lonely we’d be if we saw ourselves as one human family and stopped disconnecting and separating ourselves from one another with “I’m this” and “You’re that.” At Los Angeles Pride last weekend Adam Lambert repeated a [...]

Why Women’s Spaces Matter

I’ve spent many years in women’s communities and I, myself, create spaces for women to come and do their sexual growth work with one another. These spaces are incredibly important for our own wellbeing and evolution. They are part of any revolution. I was recently teaching a women’s workshop in a “sex-positive” space that includes [...]

Heteronormativity is NOT the same as Heterosexuality

Well, here we are in the age of marriage equality. Right? Or are there more things to consider?

The Trans* Movement: An Opportunity for All of Us To “Transition”

We are in such an important moment in time around gender. In the twenty years I’ve been in the sexuality field, the literature around gender, and in particular, transgender issues has erupted into a field of serious study and we have learned so much, yet we are still only seeing the tip of the iceberg. [...]

The Two Fundamental Differences In the Experiences of Queer People

Queer culture has a vast language for sexual identities, behaviors and orientations, and these terms can be VERY helpful in naming and communicating what you want sexually.

By |May 23rd, 2014|Pleasure & Desire, Queerly Speaking|1 Comment

I Was Terrified the First Time I Went to a Lesbian Bar

I can still vividly remember the first time I went to a lesbian bar in New York City. I was terrified...

Who is still “Defending Marriage”?

This week, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, an abysmal law that President Clinton signed into being during his term. That was a dark night in the Clinton years. I find it so interesting that a president who actually pushed the bounds of sexuality in daring to be a sexual [...]

The Sexuality of Sexy Clothing: Not That Simple

The straight world has much to learn from the queer spaces that challenge these ideas, where people are forced to consider gender, gender roles and cultural norms in a very different way, an unprivileged way, where nothing is taken for granted.

By |August 20th, 2012|Queerly Speaking|0 Comments

The Pursuit of Sexual Freedom

if women’s self-determined use of birth control and same-sex couples’ marriages make it impossible for others to “preserve” their own personal sexual values, then those values are built on quicksand and should be re-evaluated.

By |February 10th, 2012|Queerly Speaking, Sexual Politics & Culture|1 Comment

Gay Marriage in NY! Now What?

New York State passed a law making marriage between two people of the same sex legal on Friday, June 24, just in time for New York’s biggest gay celebration of the year, and one of the biggest Pride events in the world. This has been a long road and finally we had a governor who took a strong stand for equality in New York and hopefully other states will take our lead and end their institutionalized apartheid. What does this really mean? Is it all that important? Why do the gay folks even want to be a part of an “institution” that the heterosexuals can’t seem to manage worth a darn?