Is Your Diploma in "Not Enough"?

Women go to People Pleaser University, they specialize in Caretaking 101, and they graduate with a diploma in “Not Enough”. Even the most powerful feminists are not immune to this unwritten curriculum.

By |August 29th, 2014|Damsel, Getting Unstuck, Sex and Money|0 Comments

Is Your Avoidance Getting You What You Want?

Avoidance will generally mean that you will not get your needs met or feel seen and heard in a relationship, because it ultimately will require others to read your mind or figure out what is going on without you telling them.

By |January 31st, 2014|Damsel, Relationships, Sexual Growth|4 Comments

Sex and the Scared Little One

You’re not special. Not like that. You are only the victim if you decide you are

By |November 8th, 2013|Damsel, Getting Unstuck, Pleasure & Desire|2 Comments

The Sexual Agency of Miley Cyrus

There is a difference between someone who is authentically self-possessed and one who is just creating an image to be viewed, almost like a cardboard doll.

By |October 4th, 2013|Damsel, Sexual Growth, Sexual Politics & Culture|3 Comments

Sexual Archetypes 101

There have been many questions about archetypes and some intrigue about them, so this week I thought I'd give you a little primer about my approach to these archetypes and why they matter.

By |June 7th, 2013|Damsel, Getting Unstuck, Sexual Growth|2 Comments

The Problem with People Pleasing

Nearly every person I work with as a sex coach must look at their relationship to people pleasing at some point as part of our work.

By |May 24th, 2013|Damsel, Getting Unstuck|8 Comments

Someone Called Me a “Slut” at My Business Conference

I am often amazed at what people think it’s okay to say to others, especially people who are perfect strangers. I was a sponsor at a business event last week and a woman came up to me at my booth and said, “Are you the sex lady? You’re a real slut aren’t you?”

So…You Have Sex So that They'll Like You?

In my life and work, I have been very attuned to the ways that people give away their power because they want other people to like them. I work with my clients and students on these issues directly.

By |March 29th, 2013|Damsel, Getting Unstuck, Sexual Growth|0 Comments

Many Shades of Damsel

Frank Bernard Dicksee, "Chivalry" (1885) If you were raised female you were taught on some level to be the damsel or princess. This is a call to the princesses in the world who are ready to step into their power in a big way. If you are powerful in many ways in the [...]

By |February 26th, 2013|Damsel|0 Comments

The Second Damsel Trap: Your Lover is Not Going to 'Fix' You

If you don’t invest time and energy into your sexual satisfaction, it becomes like that damn light bulb in the hall closet that burned out so long ago, you can’t quite remember; you just feel irritated and annoyed each time you go to flick the switch and nothing happens.

By |February 22nd, 2013|Damsel, Getting Unstuck, Sexual Growth|0 Comments