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What Surfaced From My Dark Night of the Soul

I've been quiet about what's been going on with me lately and I've got to tell you, it has been a dark night of the soul for sure. We all have them. Usually, for me, they happen when I am not doing what I really want to be doing in my life, or not spending my time the...

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Sexuality & a 9-year-old’s Suicide

This is heartbreaking. I work with adults around healing and empowering their sexuality because no matter what our age, we need that. This week we lost a sweet 9-year old boy to suicide. Jamel Myles had come out as gay to his mom who accepted him and told him she...

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The Archetype of the Fire Woman

The Woman On Fire, The Fire Woman is a powerful archetype, a woman who owns all of who she is without apology. What does “without apology” mean? She makes her choices and follows her own internal compass no matter what others throw at her. She doesn’t say she’s sorry...

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Claiming Your Own Authority

Every social ill, political standoff and war boils down to one thing at it’s root: People claiming their own authority—over their lives, bodies, health, livelihoods, sexuality, homes, land or well-being.   There are plenty of people who want to and do tell us...

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Where Does the Unknown Scare You?

This week I was teaching a class on the body in my Fire Woman Program. I gave the women a body ritual to do and none of those present had done it, which I thought was odd. The ritual involves letting go of the negative ideas, thoughts and behaviors about your body so...

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When A Sex Goddess Claims Her Desire

So you wanna be a Sex Goddess? Be doted on and fonded over, rubbed and nourished, fucked and fed? Here is something to know about a Sex Goddess: she never feels bad about her desires and she has no reason to hold herself back. She is unabashed in her desires and she...

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Tony Robbins, Victimhood, Guru-Complex & Leadership

This week we saw a horrendous display of abuse of power by one of the most well-known public speakers in the world—a person who could have chosen to use his platform to usher meaningful change, and instead gave men, abusers, harassers and onlookers a clear out. Let’s...

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What if Sex Were Like Playing Music?

In Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, Thomas Macaulay Millar– wrote an astute essay about our typical commodification model of sex and how problematic it is in terms of consent and negotiation to treat sex as transactional. When...

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Be the Lover, Not the Hero

As the groundbreaking superhero film Black Panther is freshly released, this week the concept of being the hero and how much we are socialized towards a heroism model of leadership and healing has come up several times. I was the oldest child in my family and very...

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It’s Not About You

The communication blunders that happen on an everyday basis are truly astounding. Ever step back and watch two people get themselves into an argument that could have been completely avoided with a few simple tweaks? I’ve been thinking a lot about these communication...

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Why We March

We all have something to give in the world and we all have something to heal. Like hundreds of thousands of Americans, I marched last weekend in the Women’s March. Some people don’t understand why someone would go to a march, saying “It doesn’t make any difference.”...

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A New Day is on the Horizon

Did you see the Golden Globes? Or at least Oprah’s acceptance speech that went viral? We are in a moment. A deep, powerful moment and it’s up to all of us to harness it, to speak up, and to utilize this opportunity for creating change. Oprah said something really...

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Enough. Times Up.

That’s what a group of over 300 Hollywood actresses and executives said in a bold statement they put forth this past weekend, as the new year dinged in. At last, as countless victims of harassment, coercion, rape, and exploitation have spoken out and said, “Enough,”...

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Recap 2017: The Year In Sexuality

As we head into the last holiday of 2017, I wanted to send you my year-end sexuality review. This was a doozy! Enjoy the read and the links and let’s bring in 2018 right. We’ve got a world to improve and sexual agency to claim. There is certainly no shortage of...

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Sugar’s Top 10 Gift Picks!

Sugar’s Top 10 Gift Picks! By: Jacq Jones Sugar is a lesbian owned, multi-gender operated, for profit, mission driven sex toy store.  By providing education and toys in a shame-free, sex-positive environment, we help people of all genders and sexual orientations...

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The Front Lines of the National Sex Ed Conference

California is burning again and I am in Atlantic City at the National Sex Ed Conference. It is always a breath of fresh air to be around other people like myself who commit our days to having difficult conversations and helping people with their sexuality. I got to...

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Art, Music, and the Power of the Erotic

I believe in the power of art and music to penetrate our psyches and to deeply and forever change us. Like sexuality, art can be treated as a “luxury,” as an addendum or a side-note to real life and real concerns. I pledge, rather, that art, music and sexuality are...

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“What Do We Do With The Boys?”

When I was in graduate school at NYU, I worked as a mentor and tutor as part of a community partnership at an alternative high school in Bushwick, Brooklyn (pre-gentrification, long before Bushwick was a cool place to live). Most of our 300 students had had trouble...

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