The most common question I hear is “How did you get into this work?” Since helping people with their sexuality isn’t your everyday occupation, people are often curious about it. My work as a sexual empowerment expert has spanned over 20 years and came directly out of my feminist work to empower women in their bodies, relationships and in the world. It came out of my own history of not having the resources and guides I truly needed when I was grappling with difficult things about my sexuality. I know this is a very common human dilemma.
We all need guides. I went on to find many mentors in my life who I’ve learned from and who have championed me to become the best version of myself I can be. And I, in turn, offer that mentorship to the people I help.
I’m a California-New York hybrid with a passion for passion. I’m here to live full-out, and to explore the depths. It’s my Scorpio nature.
Sexuality is so vast. I believe it is the core of who we are. When it’s wonky, it impacts everything in our lives: work, creativity, relationships, money. All things suffer when we are not in right relationship with the most intimate part of ourselves.
And when we are in right relationship with it, everything opens up. Our sexuality is such an expansive part of who we are that when we expand our relationship to it, it helps us to be bigger, not just in the bedroom, but in the whole of our lives.
I do not believe any of us are broken. We might be hurt. We might have been abandoned or abused. We may have had some traumatic experiences in our lives. We may feel really disconnected from our body and our desire. But we are whole and sometimes we are searching for the parts that maybe got lost along the way.
I have had thousands of conversations with people about sexuality. Personal conversations where the most tender parts of people are revealed. It’s such an honor to receive those precious revelations and the trust of a person who shares their personal story. We all have a sexual story—and I think most people want to know its depths.
What I hear over and over is that people want freedom, vibrancy, and to live life more fully and with more pleasure—they know these things will come from breaking through in their sexuality. I know this to be true because I’ve had the joy of witnessing it so many times in my life’s work.
The women who come to me tend to be creative people on a spiritual path—they know that breaking through sexually is the obvious next step in their evolution as fully self-actualized people.
After working with women around sexual empowerment for many years in my sexual empowerment programs, I wrote my book Woman On Fire: 9 Elements to Wake Up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power and Sexual Intelligence to assist people (of all genders) to deepen their relationship to their sexuality and step fully into their own power. In those private conversations I learned a lot—and I share it in this book. I provide all sorts of resources and a full companion workbook to help you explore, heal and empower your sexuality. I hope it inspires you.
I co-wrote the best-selling Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men (although I think more women have read it than men), now available in a second edition. This book shifts the perspective on sex away from the myopic lens that gets most people stuck and opens up new possibilities for how to approach sex, women’s bodies and pleasure.
The thing I do that I love most, is work with women in my virtual and in-person programs. This is the deepest work one can do on their sexuality: to commit regular time to nurturing sexuality, to be witnessed by others, and to explore its depths. The things we witness and the transformations women have are nothing short of miraculous.
Do I work with men? Do I work with genderqueer or transgender people? Yes and no. I will work with any client who is the right fit. Once in awhile we have men show up who are willing to invest in developing their sexuality and relationships—but I find them to be rare. In my experience most of the men who contact my team are looking for some kind of sexual gratification—or even if they know they are dissatisfied with their sexual lives, they don’t follow through to do the work. When male clients come forward who want to make the change and who resonate with my perspective and values, they are a joy to work with. I am a fierce advocate for all of us to express our sexuality and our gender in the way that is right for us. As a queer person myself, I am committed to working with members of LGBTQI communities and I love when they come forward to do this work. After all, we have led the way in educating the world about sexuality.
No matter who you are, I hope you’ll find some things here that resonate. Warning: if you are not feminist, sex-positive or interested in being critical of stale and mythical cultural ideas of sexuality, you probably won’t resonate with what I offer. Check it out—you’ll know if it sings to your spirit.
I’ve created a large body of work to help people to connect to themselves and to help them on this important journey. You can find articles written over many years about so many aspects of our sexual selves right here. The best way to stay open and abreast of new ideas, opportunities and movements around sexuality is to become a part of our community.
Plus, you’ll get a fantastic (and free) video training on Erotic Evolution, as soon as you subscribe. This series is designed to help you to find your sexual voice (because sex needs a voice), develop greater sexual acceptance and understanding and give yourself more permission to want what you want so you break through your greatest fears.
Get my community and get your Erotic Evolution video series now:
I show up as an artist, a writer, a change-maker, and a lover of life who is committed to helping each person that comes to me for help to find their truest self, express their biggest potential, show up powerfully in their relationships, love their bodies, access their desires, and honor all of who they are. I help my clients come home to themselves and end their patterns of self-abandonment, shame and fear.
Thanks for visiting. I’m happy to connect with you and excited you’re here. Here’s to living a more vibrant, authentic, powerful, pleasurable life.